I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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