Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
