This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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