Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
