Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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