My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
