im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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