You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
