I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
