I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
