I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
