i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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