I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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