Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
