okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I need a burrito and a hug.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
