It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
