If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Randomize
