I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Someone shit on the floor
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
