i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
