i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
