i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
