OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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