Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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