So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
