Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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