Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
All I want is dick and wine.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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