You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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