This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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