you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
