So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
