my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
