You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
MIDGETS
????
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
