You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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