Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
