is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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