ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
