she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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