Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
