He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
