I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
