Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Randomize
