You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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