He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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