what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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