What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
