He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
