booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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