I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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