i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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