Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
